((More like AlfredxAgent-san))
Don't read this fanfiction if you don't like nonsensical problems.

//Setting: Alfred's living room//


"What's wrong..."


I sighed as I flopped the book I was reading onto to the table. "Stop asking, nothings wrong," I muttered focusing my attention across the room.


"No," he stated lamely, "obviously somethings wrong. You're so unresponsive!" He countered, assessing my tone. "Why did you cry all day on your birthday?" He asked curiously more than sympathetically. I quickly directed my attention towards him, unaware of how he got that information from me.


"How did you..." I trailed off. "I... I just don't like birthdays, okay?" I confided, lifting up my book once more to read. Alfred was enlightened by this new information.


"Strange..." he mumbled, examining me for physical damages. After he concluded I was fine, he questioned my response. "But why? I noticed you aren't having a party with your friends either. Nor your family."


"They're yearly reminders," I mumbled inaudibly, pretending to read.


"Of what?" He seemingly heard.


"Of growing up, okay?" I stated exasperated, "I don't want to grow up! I don't want to be older than what I am! I don't... I ..." I trailed off as I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.


".... Are you scared?" He whispered softly.


I closed my eyes as the tears spilled over and nodded my head. "I hate it, Alfred. I hate it so much."

"But you're old enough to drive--"

"Why would I want to drive? Where would I go? I'm not the kind of person with friends, Alfred.." I accepted bitterly, "and do I seem responsible to drive? I'm still a kid, Alfred! A kid with obsessions! A kid who's still trying to form her childhood! A child who loves to run around without a single care in the world! Look at me! Look at me Alfred! Really!"

I pointed to myself, tears streaming down my face.

"I'm not ready for this...... I'm not ready to accept the fact that people are looking at me to do great things in life, because I'm still stuck here; in this fantasy land of mine, and reality is dragging me out. The older I get, the more it reminds me that i have to let go of it all one day. My day-dreaming fantasies, story writing sprees, sleeping with my stuffed animals, and acting immature is all a phase I need to outgrow.. but.. I don't want to leave it behind...

"Every year, I'm whisked away by the truth that I have to get back into real life where I have to take on responsibilities... that this paradise I've created in my head, Alfred, it can't exist. And I don't... I don't want to leave everything I've created behind. But to move forward, I can't take it with me..."


"....You're scared... of losing me?" He asked in disbelief.


I nodded once more. Alfred came and sat down beside me on the sofa and pulled my close. "No matter how old you are, you're always welcome back here." He stated reassuringly, "I'll always be here  for you, and so will everyone else." He was referring to the other countries. "Just remember that you're never too old for what you believe in. Be proud of yourself; you've created such a wonderful sanctuary for when you feel troubled."


I buried my face into his shirt as he cradled me in his arms.


"Your time's almost up for today..." He sighed.


"I know, but I'll be back," I smiled unwillingly to show him I would be alright. He frowned at my bad attempt, but kissed my forehead.


"I'll see you soon."


I closed my eyes, only to have me open them once more. I sat up and observed my surroundings. I was currently sitting up on the bed, looking towards the clock flashing 7:15 am. I get up and start dressing for school.


I wake up from my dream
only to walk into this reality I portray as my nightmare.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Not going to publish this as an actual story cause it's kind of personal, and it was written on a wing.
This story is 100% true.
//rolls off edge of earth .

Well, my birthday just passed and what a great way to spend your 16th birthday, crying in your room till you fall asleep. My mom felt bad for me, and I felt the same for her because I didn't know how to explain why I cried all day. I wanted her to understand, but again, how do I explain something so childish as an obsession?  Well, I only believe it's b/c I'm scared to grow up, because I can't think of any other reasons for spontaniously crying on my bday. When I did fall asleep at 7 pm however, I had a dream about Alfred telling me not to be scared to grow up, and that I was always welcome to escape with him and the other countries in my dreams.

Then I woke up, and continued the day just like every other fucking day.

I always look forward to sleeping at night.
To see everyone that makes me happy.

((I'll probably make a seperate journal about how my Birthday went, for those who care. Don't got to read it, but my councilor thinks I should let my feelings out there somewhere.

... Yes, I go to a therapist.